Picnic: Rabb Style
by socgrl
Summary: Finally to the shipperness!
1. Picnic Rabb Style

Author: socgrl  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Spoilers: Everything up until now  
  
Disclaimer: I'm just using the characters for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of all the other fine JAG fans. Don't own them, but right now I wish I did.  
  
A/N: I am becoming increasingly frustrated with the developments thus far in this season. Without Harm at JAG, it's not JAG. I'm just venting.so therefore I wrote a little story more to my likings. Let me know what you think..so on with the show:  
  
2400 Zulu  
  
Home of Commander Harmon Rabb  
  
North of Union Station  
  
Over the past couple of weeks Harm and Mac had found themselves spending almost every evening at one another's home, going over case files, having dinner, or just hanging out and further developing their new relationship. Harm decided to make tonight a little more special. He made a wonderful dinner and was about to get the sparkling grape juice from the freezer when he heard a light rapping at his door. He walked over and opened the door knowing instinctively that it was Mac and right on time as always.  
  
Harm opened the door and stared at her in awe. She was wearing a white button down sweater, a black skirt, and black heals. She looked breathtaking.  
  
"Aren't you going to let me in flyboy, or do I have to stand out here all night?" she asked with a smile playing on her lips. She could tell that he was otherwise occupied which gave her a perfect chance to look him over. He was wearing khaki pants, and a black button down suit shirt. He was.well "wow" was the only thing she could come up with.  
  
"Ah Mac.Sarah..you look absolutely beautiful this evening. Come in, come in." Harm said finally finding his voice.  
  
As she walked past him her arm brushed against his chest and she inhaled a scent that was distinctly his. She knew the components of this smell by heart; soap: Lever 2000, gel: Dep, and cologne: Nautica. When all three of those smells came together and mixed with Harms own personal scent, it was heaven.  
  
When she finally got through the door she realized that the "mood" was definitely set. Her heart began to beat quickly and became increasingly excited. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He leaned in closely and placed light kisses on the back of her neck.  
  
"Harm, you did this all for me?" Mac questioned as she got a good look at her surroundings. Harm had turned off all of the lights and lit candles all over his apartment. The coffee table had been moved around so that the area in front of the couch consisted of a blanket, two pillows, bread, and fruit. "Well, no, not entirely," he responded, "I plan to get a little out of this as well," he stated with a beautiful flyboy smile which won him a playful slap on the arm. "Oh really, you really think so, huh," Mac played back.  
  
He led her over to the blanket on the floor and asked her for her shoes as she sat down. He took her shoes into the bedroom and placed them just outside of his closet. He made one last stop into the kitchen before bringing two wine flutes and a bottle of Sparkling Grape juice into the living room.  
  
They talked about work and about everything that was going on. They talked about how exciting it was going to be that Harriet would be delivering her next child any week now. He fed her fruit and she returned the favor. When they finished eating Harm took all of their leftovers into the kitchen. Mac lay back on a pillow waiting for his return.  
  
When Harm got back into the living room he noticed that Mac had laid down on one of the pillows he had set out on the floor. He looked her over, 'God, she is beautiful. How did I get so lucky as to have the most beautiful women in the world become my entire life?' She was looking up at him with one of her little half smiles that made him go positively crazy. Upon closer inspection he noticed that the two bottom buttons of her sweater were undone which left Harm a glimpse of her stomach.  
  
He lay down next to her and looked into her eyes. As if on cue they both leaned in and shared a beautiful, slow, breathtaking kiss. As he pulled away he let his fingers linger around her stomach where her sweater had allowed him access. He drew lazy circles around her bellybutton and then leaned down and placed a circle of kisses where his fingers had just occupied.  
  
He looked up to see that she had closed her eyes. He knew that she was enjoying herself.  
  
He slowly began to make his way back to her lips. First kissing her stomach again and then slowly removing each button of her sweater and leaving a kiss where the button had just been removed. He could feel her arching her back to receive his kisses which slowly drove him crazy. He opened up the sweater and found Sarah MacKenzie clad in a simple white lace bra. He kissed the top of each breast and made a trail of kisses from her neck to her lips.  
  
When he finally made it to her lips she was fully prepared to return his favor.  
  
A/N: you know the drill.R&R.let me know if I should continue 


	2. Waking Up to Reality

He lay down next to her and looked into her eyes. As if on cue they both leaned in and shared a beautiful, slow, breathtaking kiss. As he pulled away he let his fingers linger around her stomach where her sweater had allowed him access. He drew lazy circles around her bellybutton and then leaned down and placed a circle of kisses where his fingers had just occupied.  
  
He looked up to see that she had closed her eyes. He knew that she was enjoying herself.  
  
He slowly began to make his way back to her lips. First kissing her stomach again and then slowly removing each button of her sweater and leaving a kiss where the button had just been removed. He could feel her arching her back to receive his kisses which slowly drove him crazy. He opened up the sweater and found Sarah MacKenzie clad in a simple white lace bra. He kissed the top of each breast and made a trail of kisses from her neck to her lips.  
  
When he finally made it to her lips she was fully prepared to return his favor.  
  
(Mac's POV)  
  
"Harm, I love you so much. Never stop," she said once more as he smothered her with another heated kiss. She could feel him grinding into her and she felt as if all of her senses were on full alert. She had never felt more alive.  
  
He felt it too. His whole body tingled. From the tips of his toes to the very ends of his fingers. All that could make this moment better was to be completely immersed in one anther and become one being. All they wanted now was for their souls to fuse and become the ultimate entity............  
  
..................Eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek  
  
"What the hell," Mac swore. As she bolted upright to the most annoying and devastating sound she had ever heard........her alarm clock.  
  
"Damn it, Ugh.....Not again." She could still feel the every fiber in her body tingling with the thought of spending the most perfect night with the man who owns her soul  
  
But the possibility of spending an evening with Harm, let alone a lifetime was realistically coming to a swift end.  
  
After the events in Paraguay they had drifted further apart. Further then either could remember. At least when he had left JAG to go fly they still had their friendship to fall back on. But when she told him that this "thing" between them would never work, the solid foundation that was there friendship crumbled into a million pieces.  
  
If this foundation had been say the Berlin Wall each would have grabbed a piece of the wall to keep as a symbol of the momentous occasion, no matter how inspiring or depressing, but because it would be the historic ending to an uphill battle. Instead, because of the harsh words that were spoken and the lack of true communication, there was nothing to hold onto. All that was left were two damaged hearts, two lost souls, and four eyes that locked away the true emotions.  
  
She had felt so alive and inspired that night in Paraguay where she reflected on the events of the two weeks that had just passed.  
  
Now, however, she felt uninspired, worthless, and emotionless. Nearly an entire month of feeling empty.  
  
Since coming back to JAG she would wake up to her internal clock at precisely 0545 and lay in bed until her alarm clock would sound at 0600. Then she would go to the kitchen and start a pot of coffee and then head back into her bedroom to brush her teeth and jump in the shower. Then she would get her coffee and come back to quickly blow-dry her hair and put on her freshly pressed uniform. Then she would be out the door to another uneventful, Harm-less day.  
  
Two weeks ago in the conference room while reviewing all of Harm's old cases, Bud asked her if she missed Harm. Of course she did. She missed making the perfect coffee together every morning. She missed coming back from court and looking towards his office. When she was lucky he would look up from his case file or phone call and give her a friendly nod and smile. The simple things were what she missed the most.  
  
What was excruciating was Bud's answer to his own question, "I miss him." Such a simple statement. I miss him. How many times had she said that to herself? A random thought, but in this case it was one of the most agonizing statements she had ever heard aloud.  
  
She looked across the conference table and looked at a man that she had considered family for nearly eight years. She felt all of the blood leave her face. She stood there with that ever present wall built around her heart and the ache that she felt deep inside grew even stronger.  
  
Today was no different. With Sturgis finally moved into Harm's office the deal was final. 'He's not coming back,' she thought. Things will never be the same. She had been lax in her work since he had been gone. She had made a stupid mistake that was severely detrimental to one of her cases. Everyone was fouling up around the office and the Admiral had begun to lose faith in his staff.  
  
There was nothing eventful going on. No big cases were being argued. No one was getting in trouble. And there was absolutely nothing for her to do. She was completely and utterly bored.  
  
She decided to make the most of her time and clean up her office. She organized her files and cleared off her desk. Replaced a law encyclopedia to her bookcase and dusted off the shelves. Then she came across a picture. To everyone else in the office this picture was nothing special, just the Colonel and Commander Rabb standing side by side at her engagement party. But to her it was so much more. The picture was taken by Petty Officer Tiner as Lieutenant J.G. Simms accepted promotion and her Lieutenants shoulder boards. Everyone cheered and clapped and when the celebration was over the Admiral began to speak again. Tiner chose this moment to take the candid shot. They were both engrossed in their own thoughts but could sense one another. As the Admiral made his announcement their hands brushed one another and sent sparks down every nerve ending. The picture itself showed nothing, but the memory of that moment was forever burned into her memory.  
  
No matter what happened in her life, Sarah MacKenzie would forever reserve a piece of her heart for Harmon Rabb, Jr. He was her soul mate.  
  
A/N: Sorry if you're disappointed with the direction of the story. I had a different idea but because of the current storylines if felt a flow with this idea. As always let me know what you think! 


	3. Reality Bites

He lay down next to her and looked into her eyes. As if on cue they both leaned in and shared a beautiful, slow, breathtaking kiss. As he pulled away he let his fingers linger around her stomach where her sweater had allowed him access. He drew lazy circles around her bellybutton and then leaned down and placed a circle of kisses where his fingers had just occupied.  
  
He looked up to see that she had closed her eyes. He knew that she was enjoying herself.  
  
He slowly began to make his way back to her lips. First kissing her stomach again and then slowly removing each button of her sweater and leaving a kiss where the button had just been removed. He could feel her arching her back to receive his kisses which slowly drove him crazy. He opened up the sweater and found Sarah MacKenzie clad in a simple white lace bra. He kissed the top of each breast and made a trail of kisses from her neck to her lips.  
  
When he finally made it to her lips she was fully prepared to return his favor.  
  
(Harm's POV)  
  
"Sarah, I love every part of you," said Harm as he descended to her lips once again for another heated kiss. He loved the feel of her skin on his finger tips. He loved the way that he could elicit moans from deep in the back of her throat by grinding his hips against her. He wanted to make love to her until the end of time. Until..............  
  
..................Eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek  
  
"Damn it!" He screamed in protest to the insistent sound of his alarm clock and squinted as the bright green 0600 shone in his eyes.  
  
'Great, another bright and shining morning, started off with a freezing cold shower.' He thought to himself.  
  
The worst thing about his dreams involving Mac was that they were always so real. Not just the sex dreams (which were by far his favorite), but also the dreams he had had where she would be hurt or killed. He could see the look in her eyes and feel as if she were mere inches away. But as always, it was just a dream.  
  
Every dream that he had of Mac since Paraguay, no matter how wonderful, had always left him with a bitter taste in his mouth. 'If I had only said the right thing. She deserved to be angry with me. I get jealous and put my foot in my mouth. She deserves someone better then me, but I don't want her to be with anyone else. I love her too much to pretend to be happy for her.'  
  
He walked into the bathroom and turned on the water as cold as it would go. Then he walked into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee and hoped in the shower. He let the cold water cascade down his body and he felt his tension flow down the drain. He couldn't even feel how cold the water was, he was numb, physically and emotionally.  
  
He had been on a couple of missions for the CIA and liked the idea of not having to give himself fully to a case. He liked that he could be cocky and not care. He liked that he didn't have to feel for the client like he did in the court room. He liked having Beth as a partner. She was beautiful and trustworthy. A replacement Mac. The good thing was that there was no possibility of romantic involvement; Beth's girlfriend would kick his ass.  
  
But honestly, he hated it. He hated the fact that his life was on the line every second of every day. He hated the fact that he felt no connection with the people he worked with (other then Beth). He hated not being able to come home every night to his apartment. He hated the fact that the Admiral finally put his foot down. He hated not being able to walk through the bullpen and see Mac every morning. He hated the fact that every time he closed his eyes she was there, in all her glory. He hated that he gave up everything for her. He hated that he would do it all again without question. He hated that he loved her. But most of all he hated that he could not live without her.  
  
He got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He walked over to his closet and opened the doors. There he saw his past staring back at him. His covers were placed neatly on the top shelf. His uniforms were hung up, freshly pressed from the cleaners, still in bags.  
  
He reached into his dresser and looked for a white undershirt to wear underneath his suit. Then he saw them, Mac had always left a pair of shorts and a t-shirt over at his place, just in case anything was ever to happen and she spent the night. He pulled the cloths out of his dresser and brought them to his nose. They smelled like her, granted they were clean, but they smelled of her laundry detergent. Her perfume lingered. He remembered the day she decided it would be smart to leave a change of cloths at his place. 'She took the shirt and shorts out of her dresser and held them close to her chest as she rifled through the remaining drawers.'  
  
He woke from his revere and put her cloths back where he found them; in the same place he put them every morning. This had become his ritual.  
  
He finished getting ready, grabbed some coffee to go and then got in his Lexus and prepared himself for the morning traffic on 495 that he hit every day on his way to Langley.  
  
The hell that had become his life would return tomorrow; same time, different place. The only freedom he found from this hell would be a mission, but those were a hell in themselves. Always questioning the possibility of survival and further dragging out the seconds until he would have to look at her face and see the disappointment in her eyes. It would be a vacation from his own heartbreak, a continuation of the constant numbing that he felt. This new mission would be a break from the hellish reality that he had quickly become accustom to.  
  
A/N: Thanks for everyone that reviews. I appreciate it and I know all of the authors do as well. Remember to review and I hope to have another chapter soon. I wrote this story a good week ago, but my apologies to seema (Nostalgia), apparently we had similar thoughts. 


	4. Just a Glimpse

2025 Zulu  
  
JAG Headquarters  
  
Falls Church, VA  
  
As I stood there, in the middle of the JAG bullpen I let a smile creep onto my face. For the first time in months I was contented. I was able to catch a glimpse of the man I love. Granted it was on a television screen but it was something.  
  
I have never admitted to needing anyone. I survived a childhood with my drunken and verbally abusive father. I have survived knowing that my mother abandoned me. I have followed in my fathers drunken footsteps and then found my own path with the help of Uncle Matt and again with Harm. I have fallen in and out of relationships that meant nothing to me, but were convenient. But I have fallen hard for a man that now, because of me, may never trust me enough to see where we may lead.  
  
Yes, I may have broken his heart by saying that we will never work. But it was out of anger and frustration. I was tired, stressed, and emotionally drained. And he wanted to pick a fight. I was tired of dancing around the subject of "ifs" and "buts" and I gave up on the fight. I was tired of hurting. So now my heart is numb.  
  
Everything is falling apart without him. I don't need him looking over my shoulder or helping me to stand. I just need to know that he is behind me, to catch me if I fall. Right now I am cautious with every step because I know that the only thing stopping me from scraping my knee is me.  
  
This new assignment will force me to face him.  
  
I stand listening to the sounds on the other side of the door. I can hear the strumming of the guitar. I wonder what or who he thinks about when he plays. I finally work up enough courage to knock. And there he is, just as handsome as always. He answers the door with and with a look of both surprise and pain he says my name, "Mac."  
  
I can tell already this isn't the heartfelt encounter that I wished for. It may even get ugly.  
  
"What are you doing here?" he asks harshly.  
  
"I've called you seventeen times in the past five months. We need to talk!" I say with a smile on my face to lighten the mood.  
  
"I thought you said we were done talking" he rebuts.  
  
"I know you feel hurt!" I say, trying to get him to open up.  
  
"You have no idea what I'm feeling Mac!" he yells a little louder then I'm sure he planned.  
  
I can tell this is just going to start a fight so I decide to tell him about Commander Imes and the fact that I need his help. He is able but not so willing. I can tell he still feels hurt and I know that is my fault and partly his own, to which he will never admit. But he has no idea how much I'm hurting.  
  
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. He goes to open the door and sees "her", Ms. Gayle standing in the hall. I excuse myself and on my way out give her a warning glare. "Harm go through those files and give me a call when you've finished reviewing them..Ms. Gayle."  
  
Friday Night (After Harm's conversation with the Admiral and dinner with Catherine Gayle)  
  
Apt of Colonel Sarah MacKenzie  
  
I walk in the door and see that the light for the answering machine is blinking. I head into my room and to change into something more comfortable and then walk back into the living room to listen to the message.  
  
I press the button and I hear the same voice that I hear in my dreams. "Hey Mac, it's Harm. I just wanted to let you know that AJ made his way all the way back out to Blacksburg to tell me that if the circumstances were good and I was willing that he would take me back. I wanted to ask you over so you could give me a rundown of operations lately so I don't go in like a chicken with it's head cut off like I did when I came back from flying. If you wouldn't mind coming over tomorrow night for dinner I would appreciate it. So hopefully I'll see you tomorrow night! Goodnight Sarah."  
  
I listen to the message once more. Dinner, he wants to have dinner. Well that's something. I can't take this anymore. I'm going to tell him. No running away, no misconceptions. Just the truth. This is it. It's all or nothing.  
  
I pick up my phone and dial the all too familiar number and leave a response on his machine, "That sounds great. I'll bring over some Chinese and see you at 1930. See you then Harm." It was a simple message, no need for me to show my hand and then fold. No, just short and sweet.  
  
A/N: I have new inspiration and am working on the conclusion to this story now. Keep with me.It will be a H/M shipper. I swear! Please R&R. 


	5. The Truth, No Misconceptions

A/N: I want to thank all of you who reviewed; you make this all worth it. I also want to thank those that have followed through with this story. I must confess I was and still am a little depressed as to how this season is panning out, but it looks to be getting better. Now on with the show.this is that chapter you have been waiting for since the beginning!  
  
1930 EST North of Union Station Home of Harmon Rabb Jr.  
  
(Harm's POV)  
  
What Catherine said last night at dinner really hit home. Was what the Admiral said about me needing to grow up so true? Am I trying to find a makeshift family?  
  
All of these thoughts have been flowing through my head all day. I know that I do not want to settle for anything but the best. And Catherine knew that. It would not be fair to her or the baby for me to be a makeshift husband/father. And it certainly would not be fair to me, because my heart would be empty. I know who I want to be with, but Mac has made it more than clear that she is no longer willing to fight for the possibility of an "us."  
  
I break myself from these thoughts as I hear a knock at the door. I know its Mac. She's right on time as always.  
  
(Mac's POV)  
  
Ok MacKenzie, breathe. I have the bag of Chinese in my hand and knock on the door. I hear him come to the door and open it. As always he takes my breath away, but I don't let it show.  
  
I walk in and he takes the bag from me and I close the door behind me.  
  
"I want to apologize for the other night" we say in unison.  
  
He nodded to me to go first. "Look Harm. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I know that you are upset, even if you don't want to admit it to me," I get in quickly before he comments and he looks down at the floor and then back to me sheepishly. "However, I had no right to push the subject. I want you to know the reasons for my actions in Paraguay and if I don't tell you now I may never get up the nerve again."  
  
I walk up to him and grab his hand and lead him over to the couch to sit down. I sit across from him on the coffee table and reach for one of his hands, which to my surprise he gives up willingly.  
  
"I know that I have loved you in one way or another since the moment we met. And I also know that my heart can't take the game that we have been playing for eight years now. I was so happy that you found Webb and me in Paraguay. I knew you were going to be there. Remember, I always know where you are," I say, this time I'm the one who looks sheepish and look down at the floor.  
  
With his free hand he reaches up to lift my chin and the thumb of his other had is reassuringly rubbing circles over my knuckles.  
  
"I tried to thank you, but you seemed so edgy and hostile. I tried to joke with you but it only seemed to make you angrier and you threw some low blows. And then I just couldn't say anything right. So I got angry and told you that we would never work."  
  
I look into his eyes and they clear a little. The anger is gone and now resentment is present.  
  
"Mac," he gets out, but I cut him off.  
  
"Hold on, you need to know this," he nods and I continue.  
  
"Since that solitary moment in front of the hotel in Paraguay I have been absolutely miserable. I haven't been able to concentrate. I haven't been able to work. I haven't been able to talk to anyone because the one person that I want and need to talk to hates me. And I can't stand it because I love him so much and he has no idea. And I don't mean Clay. In fact, Clay and I are just friends. He would like more but I cannot settle for a man just because he loves me. I have to love him in return. And you are the only man that I love. You are the only man I have ever been in love with," I said finally with tears rolling down my face.  
  
He leans towards me and pulls my knees so that they are between his and touching the couch and he begins to wipe the tears from my eyes.  
  
"Ok," he breathes out and gives me a reassuring smile. "It's my turn. When the Admiral told me that you and Webb had disappeared I felt as if my entire life had been turned upside down. I was determined to do everything in my power and then some to get you back. When I saw you kiss Webb I was enraged. But I've had months to think about it. He protected you from harm when I was unable. And if anything I should have thrown him a party. However, I could have done without him canning me" he says which causes us both to laugh.  
  
"I have been miserable since Paraguay also. Not only because of what you said, but because I know that my actions and words led to your decision. And that kills me. I love you more then anything else in this world. And I cannot live without you anymore. Every time I have kissed you I have had to break away because I could not breathe. Your presence takes over all of my senses. The sound of your voice, husky and sweet, makes my knees week. I have to hold back the urge to kiss you every time I see you."  
  
I look into his eyes and I know that everything he is telling me is the truth.  
  
"The only contentment I have found since Paraguay has been in my dreams. There I can see you whenever I want. I never say the wrong thing. And you are so beautiful.." He says and I can hear the crack in his voice and see the solitary tear roll down his face.  
  
I lean into forward and hold his face in my hands and pull him into a kiss. It is the most beautiful kiss I have ever experienced. It is not needy like the kiss on the Admiral's porch. It's not out of fun like that night under the mistletoe. It is the kind of kiss Harm was talking about. We pull apart because we need to breathe. It takes a moment for me to regain my bearings.  
  
I look at him for strength. "Harm, make love to me tonight. I need to know that you are really here. That this is not a dream. I need to know that you love me. I need to show you how much I love you," I say scared.  
  
"Sarah, I love you so much."  
  
I stood up and pulled him up along with me and begin to walk to his room. When we get there I back up to the bed and pull him as close as I can. I pull my sweater up over my head and stand there clad in my black bra. I watch as his eyes wander my form. He leans in to kiss me and trails kisses down my neck, down my chest and then he falls to his knees. He places his hands on my hips and trails barely there kisses around my belly button. I get lost in the sensation as he blows soft breaths on the now slightly damp area. It is just like my dream, but feels so much better.  
  
I look down at him on his knees. "Harm lets make both of our dreams come true. Make love to me!" He obliges and stands up. And we have a night filled with passion that no dream could ever match.  
  
A/N: I hope you liked. Sorry about the second and third chapters, but it was where the actual story lines were going. I finally got inspiration from a conversation with one of my friends so I hope you enjoy. Remember to R&R, I would appreciate no flames thanks! 


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